Everywhere else, Christmas keeps it simple. You are naughty or you are nice, the list gets checked twice, and that settles it. Down here, the list runs into a third box nobody warned Santa about.

Florida Man does not fit the system. He means well. He usually does. But somewhere between the gas station at 6am and the gator in the retention pond, "nice" stopped being the whole story. If there is someone on your list who lands right in that gap, a little naughty, a little nice, mostly just Florida, there is finally a shirt that says it for them.

Here is the thing people get wrong about the whole Florida Man business: it is a quirk of the law, not the people. Florida has some of the most open public-records laws in the country, so the arrest reports other states keep quiet turn into headlines here. Everybody is equally weird. Florida just shows its work.

So this year we made the checklist official. Naughty. Nice. Florida Man. It's Complicated. There is a Florida Man Naughty Nice Christmas Tee for him, and a Florida Woman Naughty Nice Christmas Tee too, because certified-unbothered runs in both directions.

And if the person on your list would rather color the chaos than wear it, the Florida Man coloring books turn real headlines into bold, easy pages. You cannot make this stuff up, which is handy, because nobody did.

Naughty, nice, or gloriously complicated, it is the most honest gift on anyone's list this year. Every shirt ships free.